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Dear U.S. Bank account
holder,
First of all,
until I did a quick Google search I had no idea
if US Bank was even a real entity, but one thing
I do know is that I don't have any accounts with
them. And even if I did have an account with
them I'd expect them to know my real name and
account number and include it in the heading of
the letter.
We regret to inform you, that
we had to block your U.S. Bank account because
we have been notified that your account may have
been compromised by outside parties.
The
'regret' word. That's always a sign of bad news.
Before I even have a chance to read the letter I
know this isn't going to make me happy.
Our terms and conditions you
agreed to state that your account must always be
under your control or those you designate at all
times. We have noticed some activity related to
your account that indicates that other parties
may have access and or control of your
information in your account.
Here's the
set up. Let's make this perfectly clear that if
anything bad has happened it's your fault
because you violated the 'terms and conditions'
agreed to when the account was opened.
These parties have in the past
been involved with money laundering, illegal
drugs, terrorism and various Federal Title 18
violations.
What
a tidy little laundry list of crimes. Not
only does the author of the letter know who
these criminals are, but now I've been lumped
into the same group. Woe is me; how am I ever
going to be able to disassociate myself from
these criminals, prove that I'm a law abiding
citizen, and have access to my accounts. The
Title 18 violations is a nice touch. Even if you
aren't aware Title 18 violations deal with
conspiracy, racketeering, counterfeiting, and a
number of types of fraud it still sounds like
something you'd rather not be associated with.
In order that you may access
your account we must verify your identity by
clicking on the link below.
Thank
goodness, there is a way I can solve this
problem and it's as simple as clicking on a
link.
Please be aware that until we
can verify your identity no further access to
your account will be allowed and we will have no
other liability for your account or any
transactions that may have occurred as a result
of your failure to reactivate your account as
instructed below.
Wait
- wait, I'm clicking right now. I'm a slow
typist. Please, I'll tell you anything you want
to know - just don't deny me access to the
account.
Thank you for your time and
consideration in this matter.
Damn, you'd
think a letter as important as this one would
have a name and a phone number so I could
contact them directly if there was a problem
with the hyperlink.
https://www.usbank.com/account_verify/cgi/index.htm
Before you reactivate your
account, all payments have been frozen, and you
will not be able to use your account in any way
until we have verified your identity.
One final
little jab with the word 'frozen' to get you
clicking on that link just in case there was any
doubt in your mind that this might be a phisher
scam. |